A month ago, I thought everyone was overreacting. I could not believe how paranoid people were about this virus and why there were some who acted like it was the end of days. Obviously, this is not the end of days. But, I will admit that I have definitely downplayed the potential impact of COVID-19. This was all before the World Health Organization declared this virus as a pandemic. Once they gave it that name, that’s when I started understanding the severity of the situation.
I have so many feelings about this pandemic, but above all, I am in disbelief. What shocked me the most is that I actually know people who got the virus. Thankfully, they are okay now. This got me thinking about how I never think bad things are going to happen to me because “what are the chances, right?”. Apparently, the chances are higher than I thought.
I have also been having a lot of nightmares lately. I wake up in odd hours of the night with anxiety. Strangely, I don’t remember most of my nightmares, which is unusual because I have excellent dream recall. I’m the type to remember the 5 dreams I had last night. The one nightmare I do remember in recent weeks is about someone dear to me catching the virus and dying from it “on a Wednesday”, but in the dream, I was that person. On Wednesday morning, I woke up and was absolutely terrified that it may have come true. Thankfully, it was just a dream and not some divine premonition. I guess I don’t fear for myself, but I do fear for people I care about who are not in optimum health.
My partner and I were also supposed to go to England in May to visit my sister who lives in Oxford. I was really looking forward to this trip, especially since the last time I was in England, I was only 11 years-old. I was also excited to see my cousins and my childhood friend in London whom I haven’t seen in 12 years. Aside from having family and friends in England, there are just so many things about it that characterized it as the perfect vacation spot for me – a plethora of vintage stores, historic sites, and Harry Potter!
With a heavy heart, we decided to cancel our trip. It’s just not an appropriate time to travel right now with everything that’s going on. We just didn’t think the situation would improve so soon.
Like so many other people out there, I am working from home at the moment. I am incredibly grateful that I have a secure job and that we have the privilege of working from home. As an introvert, I must admit that I am a huge proponent of working from home – once in a while. Silence helps me focus more. My job requires a lot of writing, so it is imperative for me to be in quiet environments when I’m in the writing zone. I get easily distracted by chatter, ringing phones, footsteps, etc. In other words, your girl cannot handle noise.
However, I do miss seeing people and chatting with my colleagues. As much as I like working from home, I could never work from home full-time. There’s so much value in connecting with people face-to-face in person that just cannot be replaced by online interactions. I do hope that we come out of this with more respect for working from home. I believe that people should be given more autonomy to choose to work from home even after this pandemic – unless it doesn’t make sense for your job, of course.
Sometimes, I get really bored at home, but I am okay most days. I figured that now is the time to get addicted to a new show. I kind of gave up on watching shows last December after realizing how much time I spent on Netflix. I am now renewing that interest in order to cope with this situation. My partner and I are currently watching the Judd Apatow-created Netflix show, Love, which is so cringy but funny. I am open to any show suggestions and also have a Crave account!
So that’s where I’m at right now in my life, folks. I am okay despite everything. If you’re reading this, I hope you are safe and physically, emotionally, and mentally well. Take care of yourself.